"I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone."

A few thoughts on Gerard that sort of correlate with my second post and people who are empty, and who are easily led. Does it ever seem to anyone else like Gerard isn't really the leader he seems to be? (Well I mean aside from the obvious, the recent dumping of the "morals" and "responsibility" he always sermonized about onstage in order to take a hate-spewing band on tour with them and expose them to their young fans... the same ones he used to try to protect. Aside from that.)

What I mean is how often he seems to change his mind based on what other people are saying or doing. First of all he seems to change his mind about huge life decisions at the drop of a hat. Leave his girlfriend of 6 years over the phone for no obvious reason while she was already ill, a few months later hook up with the next girl that was in the vicinity. (Seems like all you have to do to get engaged or married to Gerard Way is be around him a few times.) The rumors then were that she asked him to get married. But Gerard wanted to get married, he said so in a few interviews. He makes a big deal out of his age all the time. (Even when he was doing older interviews. Look at the one with Bert. "I'm 27 so I'm pretty old." And the "what turns you on" interview. "Well, I'm not that young anymore, so...." He's hung up on his age in the biggest way to begin with.) I can't even count how many times he's said that he was old, or too old, or felt like he should be doing some such thing by a certain age.

Then recently he said he wanted to drop "I'm Not Okay" from their setlist because he felt like he had outgrown it and he wanted "peace and quiet" these days. O-kayyy... They ended up not dropping it after all which is good, but I wonder what made him make that decision. Could be be that he started acting like he was 12 again? Could it be that he's still "not okay"?

Then an anonymous letter, or really a few of them, come along calling out Eliza for being a bitch and for using him. The next thing you know, his engagement is off. It looked like he actually took the ring off between songs during a concert. (By all accounts it was on for the first half of the concert and gone for the last half, leading to speculation that maybe it had somehow slipped off his finger during the show.) A very sudden decision, very quickly after someone "told" him that Eliza was wrong for him.

Next thing you know, Gerard is looking for a place to settle down and he decides on Portland because he says he loves it there. In the past he's made a big deal out of saying that he didn't want to be one of those people who died in the same place they were born, that's what "Kill All Your Friends" was about. He wanted, he needed to get out of New Jersey to truly begin his life. One definitely got the feeling that he did NOT want to stay there for many different reasons. He was out of that state, he said he felt no ties to it. He moved his stuff out of his parent's house and then his parents up and sold the house.

A month later, "SO IN LOVE" with the next girl in his vicinity. A few weeks after his announcement that he was "in love" they're married. And now? Now it's all great to just stay in New Jersey, because that's where she lives.

All of a sudden, the things he's been so passionate about, they change, too. He no longer cares about sending a positive message to his young fans. The inspiring speeches, they stop. Because you see, all of a sudden they are not "cool" to say anymore. That humble, helpful person, he doesn't fit in with the new hardcore crowd he has to impress, the crowd that talks about what is between a five year old's legs and who light their pubes on fire on stage. That guy who had a positive message, he's uncool now. He has to go, and he's replaced with an onstage diva covered in hickies, with his hand down his pants half the time, having an uncharacteristic fit of anger here, throwing his puke into the audience there etc. Being a badass, fitting in with the rest of the badasses.

Does Gerard ever make any decisions based on what he feels? Of does he just make decisions based on what the people he's trying to impress feel?

It's sad to see people be led around like that, very lost and desperate. What's sadder is having nothing inside, being so empty that you fill your heart with what other people want. You live your life according to what other people think you should be doing at a certain time. This is weird because he also always talks so much about finding yourself, being your own person etc. As if he knows that he's not actually doing those things.

Yet even though he's so easily led by people he's currently into, he's probably stubborn to the last if people who have known him for years try to call him out on it once the decision has been made for him. I know a lot of people like this. They'll base their decisions on whoever means the most to them at the time (whoever they want to impress) and then everyone else takes a backseat. Everyone else's opinions stop mattering to them. People they used to value, they now think are out to get them or out to destroy the life they're trying to build up with their new fascination. They say things like "Why does it bother you that I'm happy?" and "Can't you let me live my life?" when they're really living someone else's. The people who have always been there for them, all of a sudden they are the bad guys. And the more those caring people push them, the more stubborn they get. They will stay in a relationship, a location, a job, a situation or what have you, even after they are sick of it and want out, JUST to prove a point. Just to prove that they were not wrong, to prove that they are living their own lives.

There was another successful rock star who was easily led and then stubbornly pushed people away until the ugly end, too. Someone who was a sponge for other people, someone who spoke of having empathy to a fault, so much so that it was maybe all he had. Do I need to name who it was?